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Saturday, August 29, 2009

When you can't seem to go on....

Ok, Bad attacks of pain whether physical or emotional storms, or broken heartedness can make one give up, want to quit and have NO hope. The Trigeminal attacks are much worse for me... and I am bedfast on the sofa as I can not walk either.
I think of all of you round the world like me... and we have these times of intense suffering, and it feels there is no meaning to it at all.
I am blessed to have a husband who understands, but no one, no matter how close can really know the pain as I can't know his exactly.
We lost 4 babies before birth, I had a rare 5 weird things, something not seen here in VT. At the end of that journey the Infertility Dr said, " We believe from your years of tests and temp charts you may have lost over 30 babies, but early on in pregnancy,". The next moment He said," You can never ever get pregnant again. You AND the Child will die".
I moved into the abyss. I railed and yelled at God. HOW could HE do this to me? We loved HIM, Why keep a child from us? But in time, the ONLY comfort came from this verse given to me by a friend. I held to this as a lifeline.
Again, tonight as I wept in pain... I had to be brought low. I felt sorry for me, as if God could not know my physical tormenting incurable by Drs pain.
Tonight I was weeping uncontrollably as the pains did not respond to anything. I could not think straight to know WHAT to do, and my "protocol of care" evaporated.
Rob anointed me with oil and prayed over me in the name of Jesus. and amazingly in a minute God gave us wisdom to do something. God reminded me to go on Oxygen at a high rate... In 5 min the attack was over! Praise God who pulls me from the net of despair. Forgive me for my despair Lord...

So dear friend, Here I am a witness and I want to tell you
I am humbled to once again KNOW there is ONE who CAN and Does KNOW ALL MY PAIN and Here is my life verse...
in 2 Cor 1 vs 3-5 we comfort others with the comfort we have received from the Father of Our Lord Jesus Christ, The GOD OF ALL COMFORT
He will do that for you too. HE loves us all the same. He is the only one who can know your exact suffering, as HE suffered everything.

He is so close to you, He is yearning for you to turn to HIM. Please talk to him. Ask Him the truth to reveal who He really is to you. HE WILL.
He will give you HOPE to go on and pull you out of the pit.

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Please leave your comment, It is appreciated. Thanks a lot, Grace