When you can't seem to go on....

Ok, Bad attacks of pain whether physical or emotional storms, or broken heartedness can make one give up, want to quit and have NO hope. The Trigeminal attacks are much worse for me... and I am bedfast on the sofa as I can not walk either.
I think of all of you round the world like me... and we have these times of intense suffering, and it feels there is no meaning to it at all.
I am blessed to have a husband who understands, but no one, no matter how close can really know the pain as I can't know his exactly.
We lost 4 babies before birth, I had a rare 5 weird things, something not seen here in VT. At the end of that journey the Infertility Dr said, " We believe from your years of tests and temp charts you may have lost over 30 babies, but early on in pregnancy,". The next moment He said," You can never ever get pregnant again. You AND the Child will die".
I moved into the abyss. I railed and yelled at God. HOW could HE do this to me? We loved HIM, Why keep a child from us? But in time, the ONLY comfort came from this verse given to me by a friend. I held to this as a lifeline.
Again, tonight as I wept in pain... I had to be brought low. I felt sorry for me, as if God could not know my physical tormenting incurable by Drs pain.
Tonight I was weeping uncontrollably as the pains did not respond to anything. I could not think straight to know WHAT to do, and my "protocol of care" evaporated.
Rob anointed me with oil and prayed over me in the name of Jesus. and amazingly in a minute God gave us wisdom to do something. God reminded me to go on Oxygen at a high rate... In 5 min the attack was over! Praise God who pulls me from the net of despair. Forgive me for my despair Lord...

So dear friend, Here I am a witness and I want to tell you
I am humbled to once again KNOW there is ONE who CAN and Does KNOW ALL MY PAIN and Here is my life verse...
in 2 Cor 1 vs 3-5 we comfort others with the comfort we have received from the Father of Our Lord Jesus Christ, The GOD OF ALL COMFORT
He will do that for you too. HE loves us all the same. He is the only one who can know your exact suffering, as HE suffered everything.

He is so close to you, He is yearning for you to turn to HIM. Please talk to him. Ask Him the truth to reveal who He really is to you. HE WILL.
He will give you HOPE to go on and pull you out of the pit.

Encouraging Knit Site with Prayer Shawl Patterns

Dear ones, I have had a wonderful visit to Debbie Macomber's Site! She has a series of wonderful books with stories and knit patterns. What really moved me was the Prayer shawls. Entering into cold weather and having and orphan disease where breeze triggers attacks, I was looking for some pretty shawls, one for inside and one for outside. See this link for a very nice but simple triangular prayer shawl, this is a great one for us plus size ladies or for a man who needs some prayer support!
I hope you peruse her site and enter the guest book. She has a very warm heart that beams through the pages of her books and her website, and patterns. What excited me MOST of all, is the Alex Shawl pattern is there, and this is a PERFECT pattern to start lace knitting, she also teaches you HOW to go from word pattern to chart reading. I have been frustrated for 2 years trying to find a lace pattern I could understand. Chart reading has been very problematic, But Debbie shows us step by step how the words transition into the chart! Very very nice site!!
God bless Debbie and her helpful heart.
May you be encouraged there as I was too.
Healthwise, Still fighting pain, I had to stop spinning for a bit as I only have a cd spindle and it spins too thinly as it is heavy. I am also now trying to learn to knit better. I do some weird sort of combination style and I have such trouble getting any patterns to work.
I need to quickly make some shawls and face coverings, arm warmers to keep me warm from breezes.
While you are at Ravelry check me out at HALALSILKS
God keep all of you as we transition seasons, I send warm gentle hugs!
If anyone knows HOW TO STOP LEG CRAMPS due to stopping steroid meds, please let me know. I am pretty crippled up by this too
blessings, grace